Postmodern parading

Postmodern in the sense that it’s annoying for the sake of being annoying. Like Joyce’s Ulysses :D.

I can only apologise that I’ve not been blogging for a while (this one’ll only be short) but I’ve got a new job as a bilingual ticket seller for a company that runs walking tours on the Royal Mile and I’m working all the hours Chronos sends, which involves getting sunburnt a lot in this amazing weather. But I digress.

Today shortly before one of the tours, there was a gigantic parade by the Orange Lodge. I’ve since found out that it was to celebrate the foundation of the Ladies Orange Order or something. Really relevant to the general population, you know. Well worth the massive disruption.

So hopefully you all know what the Orange Order is. If not, well, they’re basically the IRA for Protestants, but with less bombs and things, although I’m sure if Northern Ireland ever did cross over to Republican control they’d be just as eager to use violence as the IRA are. Or were, I’m not sure how the Peace Process is getting along at the moment. Their members will probably tell you that’s not true, that they’re just a political group for Loyalists and they do a lot of charity work, but that’s irrelevant, they’re pretty explicitly sectarian, in that you can’t join if you’re a Catholic, regardless of where you stand on the question of Unionism vs Republicanism. Certainly they exacerbate the situation much more than they help it. They live in the past, going on about William of Orange and the Battle of the Boyne and a load of bollocks like that – that was hundreds of years ago btw – and noone gives a flying fuck if they exist or not. The parade today was clearly just their way of saying “Hey, we’re still here!”

Now I’ve done a few parades and I know more or less what makes a good one. This was not a good one. It took about half an hour to pass us, so it was far too big. A significant number of those on the parade were noticeably drunk, most weren’t marching in line, or even in time in many cases, and the bands were all playing different tunes, but weren’t far enough away from each other, so you could hear two rival tunes and beats at the same time and it was enough for a headache. A lot of them were clearly just thugs in uniforms, strutting along to their own beat like hardmen with missing teeth and skinheads (although this one lad, to his credit, was amazing with his big baton thing, launching it up in the air and spinning it around his head). The professional class were at the head of each lodge wearing orange vests with badges and medals attached to them which don’t really mean anything, and it was followed by the usual group of drunk Rangers fans singing sectarian football songs and throwing their cans of Tennents Super around, as well as a couple of paddywagons. Lots of police officers were on duty alongside the parade. A giant waste of time and resources.

You may think from this post that I just hate Protestants, but that’s not true, in most senses I hate Catholicism much more than Protestantism, it’s just that the Orange Order do parades much more often than any Catholic group does. Sectarianism is a load of bullshit and the sooner we do away with groups like this, the better.


4 Responses to Postmodern parading

  1. Clare says:

    I remember when I was living in a university flat in the city centre, I woke up to the sound of drums and it really did sound like the fascists were marching. We eventually worked out that it was an Orange Order march. I didn’t like it either to be honest, it felt a lot more like a brutish display of power and aggression than some kind of community celebration.

  2. Alex Pryce says:

    I was out doing tours as well. though actual the 12:30 tour didn’t run because of the Orange bastards marching right past my departure point.

    • grammarking says:

      Tell me about it, we’re just outside starbucks as you know, luckily they finished just before 1 and we managed to get a tour of 8 people away :S

  3. Mike says:

    On the ‘giant waste of time and resources point’, here’s a story about the costs of the Orange Order parades.–

    The three biggest parades of the year cost a million pounds!! And they have 183 parades a year. Tell you what, let’s say they can have the same amount as other organisations have, let’s say 20. On top of that, they have to fund the policing itself. They’ll soon go bankrupt, and they won’t be able to afford Tennents Super anymore, they’ll have to switch to Tesco Value lager to get wasted and cause a nuisance.

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