Love Letter

I want to do more contructive posts, honestly I do, but the bible bashers keep giving me hilarious leaflets to take the piss out of. Today’s one is called “Father’s Love Letter: an intimate message from God to you”, and was left on the bar in my work so I brought it home to tell you lovely people about it. At first I thought it was some kind of incest erotica but that’s my dirty mind for you. You can view a similar copy at this site, by clicking on the “Generic Greeting Card” link at the top. Unfortunately it’s not exactly the same, and the bits that are missed out on the dowload are the bits I want to focus on, so you’ll just have to take my word for it, it’s printed right in front of me.

Regardless of what I think of the content of the message, I must give the designers due credit, it’s really clever how they’ve constructed this leaflet. The way it’s written is that every sentence of the letter is a direct quotation from the Bible, with the Bible reference printed right after it. The result is a letter which is only slightly disjointed but generally makes sense (as much sense as this drivel could, anyway), and it means the writers are at least superficially justified in saying that this letter is from God.

Right, now to the bad bit; what’s written by the author after the letter.

Would you like to come home? All you have to do is simply believe that Jesus died in your place to make a way for you to be born into his family.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But it has exactly the same problem that Pascal’s Wager does. Who among us chooses what we believe? It’s not a conscious choice, so what’s the point in this leaflet? It’s got no evidence, it’s not going to convince anyone (or at least I hope it wouldn’t). Either someone believes or they don’t believe, and none of them get to choose. That’s not how it works.

The following words might help you express your thoughts to God.

Excuse me? I don’t think I’ve ever read anything as patronizing and insulting as that line. Not only does the author think I can make a conscious choice to have faith or to not, but he’s telling me what to say as well? Telling me how to “express my thoughts”? As though he knows what my thoughts are going to be? What’s next, is he gonna tell me what to think? (What am I saying, of course that’s the next step, that’s religion for you). They can bloody well piss off!

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